Adrian Peterson child abuse accusations raise questions about discipline

By now, you’ve probably heard that Adrian Peterson, with the Minnesota Vikings, was indicted after he allegedly hit his young son with a switch.

And if your workplace is anything like the KIRO Radio newsroom, everyone is talking about their experiences as a child and whether or not Peterson went too far.

John Curley described how he was disciplined as a kid:

“Here’s what used to happen at our house, because I was a terrible kid. My mom would deal with us all day, I would do something – light something on fire or some other horribly stupid thing – my dad would come home, my mom would lay out the plan, and I would sit there.

My father would sort of quietly listen and he’d say ‘Hmmm, alright.’ Before he’d finish dinner, he’d say ‘Go up to your room, I’ll be up in 20 minutes, have your pants down, and you’re going to get hit three times with a belt.’

He wasn’t angry. He just doled out this justice.”

John said he was also paddled while at school.

While Tom doesn’t agree with corporal punishment, he understands that upbringings and cultures make this a much more complicated issue than right vs. wrong.

“I’m actually somewhat sympathetic to someone who is raised a certain way because I think when you’re a parent, a lot of things from your own past are going to come to the fore,” Tom said. “If you feel like you turned out OK and you were paddled, then maybe you think it’s not so bad that you’re doing that to your own kid. But to me, it’s just like a cycle of abuse.”

KIRO Radio’s Don O’Neill said that he’s tired of hearing parents say that they were hit as a child and to ‘look at how they turned out.’

“My parents and my grandparents drank a lot of whiskey and smoked a lot of cigarettes and some of them are dead because of it. It doesn’t mean it was right … just because your parents did something or your grandparents did something, doesn’t make it right.”

Tom said seeing welts on Peterson’s 4-year-old boy gives society a reason to investigate.

“I do think it’s good that society is trying to protect kids,” he said.

But what are the rules? Open hand spanking, not done in anger is OK?

“You’ve got to be able to allow parents some leeway,” Tom said. “That’s why they went to the trouble of indicting him. They actually gathered evidence to see if this is worth looking into.”

Peterson, who the Vikings reinstated for Sunday’s game, released a statement on Monday. Here’s an excerpt:

I have learned a lot and have had to reevaluate how I discipline my son going forward. But deep in my heart I have always believed I could have been one of those kids that was lost in the streets without the discipline instilled in me by my parents and other relatives. I have always believed that the way my parents disciplined me has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man. I love my son and I will continue to become a better parent and learn from any mistakes I ever make.

I am not a perfect son. I am not a perfect husband. I am not a perfect parent, but I am, without a doubt, not a child abuser. I am someone that disciplined his child and did not intend to cause him any injury. No one can understand the hurt that I feel for my son and for the harm I caused him. My goal is always to teach my son right from wrong and that’s what I tried to do that day.

KIRO Radio listeners weighed in on the issue:

Brian from Sammamish wrote:

Does Adrian Peterson really need to whip his 4 year old with a tree branch or belt? I mean does a hand spanking from a 6″4″ 255 lb NFL running back not inflict quite enough pain on a 30lb child?
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Andi from Kitsap wrote:

Hey Guys! I was spanked as a kid, and yes bare bottom if the offense was severe. The wooden spoon was reserved for “sassing” Mom. I have spanked my own children. The only bare bottom spanks were for lying. But, we never spank out of anger! The kids always know what they did wrong and why they were getting spanked and got a hug afterward! I’ve never used a switch or spoon, but I know many friends that choose to do that so they are not touching the child with their own hand to inflict the pain. By the way, all of my siblings and I have turned out great, and have raised incredibly well-behaved, conscientious, kind, generous, patient children. I think the fear of spanking is creating a society where kids rule the parents and don’t learn to respect authorities. Just my two cents.
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Steve from Seattle wrote:

From the moment I heard the Adrian Peterson news last Friday, I knew we’d be subjected to variants of Charles Barkley’s specious, swiss cheese argument, that these “whuppings” are a “black thing” that white America is just not capable of understanding. Further, he even said it’s also a “southern thing.”

Of course, it’s neither. Race nor region has no relevance here; defenseless kids will be abused right here in cultured, livable Seattle this very day.

Remember Frank Shorter, the 1972 Olympic gold medal winner in the marathon? He grew up in a bucolic upstate New York town, the son of the incredibly well-loved and respected town doctor. What the town didn’t know is that same doctor routinely beat the living hell out of not only Shorter, but his brothers and sisters as well. This “discipline” went on for years until Shorter was well into his teens.

Only fools will buy into the excuse-making of Barkley and his ilk. There are untold thousands of African-American parents today who, though badly beaten themselves as children, won’t buy into it either. It’s called breaking the chain.
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Melissa from Tacoma wrote:

Look, a LOT of parents still spank their kids-they just don’t tell the world they are doing it. So Tom probably knows parents who spank-they just don’t do it in public. I was spanked as a kid and I don’t have a problem with parents spanking as long as they use common sense:
1. Never, NEVER spank when you’re angry
2. Spanking is intended to give physical discomfort without doing damage. If you leave bruises or cuts, then you used too much force.
3. If you have to spank all the time, it probably isn’t working and you need to explore other discipline options. (i.e. every kid is different-discipline isn’t one size fits all).
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Jeff in Federal Way wrote:

I’m disgusted by you, John, to try justify a 230lb muscular athlete whipping a 4 yr old child for interrupting a video game. This is far worse than Ray Rice. I’ve raised two boys and never used any corporal punishment. One is a senior at CWU and the other is a freshmen at college on a baseball scholarship. Any parent who feels the only way to teach a child is by fear through physical domination and pain is weak.

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Spencer in Puyallup wrote:

John, I thought you would appreciate this thought. It is about AP. I find it odd that everyone thinks they can tell anyone how to live their lives. I don’t agree. In the media we hear about black fathers not being in their lives. As soon as a black father chooses to discipline his child we need to take the child from him because we know better! Or do we? The world we live in is ridiculous. Good for Adrian for being in his child’s life.
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David in Lake Stevens wrote:

Like John alluded to, telling a child to go pick a stick to be spanked with gives a child time to reflect on what they’ve done. A side benefit is it gives a parent time to calm down so the discipline can be focused on correction and not done in frustration.

Also, Tom made the point that Adrian Peterson is a big guy and doesn’t need to use a switch. A switch is USUALLY a thin stick allowing each hit to be concentrated to a small area thus producing more pain and less chance of injury. Using a larger object usually requires more force to inflict the same amount of pain and increases the chance of injury.

The point is to correct behavior by causing the child to associate pain and discomfort with acting out. The physical pain should be short lived, it is the attitude correction that is suppose to last.

Adrian Peterson went a little too far but I think jail time would be going too far as well.

All that said, I’ve never used a stick for spanking…
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Jae in Gig Harbor wrote:

You’re making light of the abuse of a little four year old boy was offensive. Bottom line, a 217 lb. pro football player has no business striking a 40 lb. child with anything, in any manner. As for Barkley, a 6’6″ 240 lb. man should think twice about admitting he also whooped small children.
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No Nickname Beth in Tacoma wrote:

I think the age of a child should be considered when it comes to a “whoopin.” A ten year old who steals from his grandmother is a completely different case than a four year old who reaches for a toy that isn’t his. If you are going to beat your children, make the punishment fit the crime, at least.